Top 11 things I have learnt from living in Dubai (so far)

I haven’t been here long (in the scheme of things) but, boy, it’s been intense. I can only compare a couple of years lived overseas to the first year or two of being a parent: a crash course that exposes your own ignorance and personal failings while cramming your head full of stuff you never thought you’d want to know.

So here’s my off-the-top-of-my-head list of things Dubai has taught me, to date. And given how quickly things change here, I’ll probably disagree with myself in six months’ time…

1. The bidet in my bathroom is an excellent place to wash my feet. I acknowledge the copyright of my friend Allison for this idea. (I still don’t understand why you would use it for its proper purpose. Who wants a wet bum?)

2. Speaking of bidets, the mess they make in public toilets has provided employment for thousands of women from developing countries. (So there is some point to them after all.) No public toilet is complete without two or three attendants, whose main function is to mop up, post-bidet use.

Not all bikini-wearers look like this...

3. Australian women are far more modest than I realised. One-piece swimsuits are reasonably common and available from all good swimwear retailers (unlike here). Everyone else – I mean everyone (except for covered Muslim ladies, naturally) – wears bikinis. Old, young, thin, fat, no problem. I have seen Russian grandmothers in skin-coloured bras and panties at the beach. I have seen obese German women wearing g-strings. Some cultures just don’t seem to have any hang-ups about their flesh... This is both a good and a bad thing. But hey ho, now I feel comfortable wearing one too. (It’s taken me this long to realise that no one is looking at me.)

4. Australians really do make the best coffee.

Poor effort. I've seen three...

5. Fast-talking Scots have the most impenetrable accents out of all nationalities (that’s you, CA), closely followed by Indians (especially over the telephone).

6. It is possible to pull up to three lawn mowers behind a bicycle.

7. Yogurt really does go with everything – bread, meat, fruit, vegetables...

8. You can never own too many pairs of cheap sandals. (I brought several pairs of heels with me from Australia and I haven't worn any of them. Not once. Meanwhile, I am keeping Carrefour in business by purchasing tons of crappy sandals and flip-flops (thongs for those of us who speak Australian). But don't tell my husband.

9. Dubai would never have been built if air conditioning hadn’t been invented. That is the plain fact of the matter.

10. I am really, really good at finding my way through strange places. I never knew that about myself until I came to a place where everyone else gets lost all the time. Suckers!

11. You can actually fall asleep while floating in very salty seawater. (Don’t ask me how I know this. I just do, okay?)



Dubaians, what have I missed??